Why I Told Mr. FAF To Stop Buying Me Flowers

Mr. FAF and I have been together for almost four years. Yet, I can count on my fingers how many gifts I have gotten from him, including when we were dating. So far it’s been three: a stone bracelet, an Amazon Fire phone on sale, and a bouquet of roses.

Mr. FAF is not the romantic type. We go on very simple dates every once in a while.

Whenever a big occasion was coming up (i.e. Valentines, birthday, anniversary), I’d have ideas about what we should do together. However, most of those ideas never saw the light of day.

The impetus 

One time I was on a business trip and called Mr. FAF. I was lonely in the hotel and wanted to have a romantic conversation with Mr. FAF. But he was just not on the same page. I was so upset I told him I felt like our marriage was getting really boring. Then I hung up.

Of course, I regretted saying that afterwards and apologized to Mr. FAF.

The roses

When I got home, however, I saw a big bouquet of roses on my desk with an emotional letter from Mr. FAF which is something totally out of character for him.

The first roses I’ve ever gotten from Mr. FAF.

It brought tears to my eyes. I thought Mr. FAF would be upset at me for getting angry with him. Instead, he listened and bought me roses as I wished.

It was the first time he’d given me flowers. We didn’t have any vase at home, so I just put them in a $1 glass my mother-in-law had gotten from a yard sale.

The realization

I think I got Mr. FAF in the groove since after that time he’d suggest buying me flowers on special occasions. But I just told him he didn’t need to do that.

I loved those roses, but they withered after 3 days and just looked miserable. Mr. FAF later told me he had spent $10 on the flowers.

I told him we can just use the money to go out and enjoy a delicious meal instead. At least  we will get some nutrition, energy, and deliciousness into our systems. He eagerly agreed.

I’m not really a flower type of person. I know it when I see beautiful flowers, but I don’t feel the need to possess them. Maybe it’s a habit my frugality has trained me: admiring instead of having to possess the beautiful things in life.

Maybe it’s because the grass is always greener on the other side. I saw other women get flowers and gifts from their husbands and got a bit jealous. Now I got to experience it too, so I don’t feel the desire and the urge to have it.

Whatever the reason is, I know Mr. FAF does listen to me, so I will listen to him. He may not buy me gifts on special occasions, but he always shares the daily chores with me such as cooking dinner, taking out the trash, doing laundry, and mowing the lawn.

If I tell Mr. FAF I crave KFC at 11 PM when it’s cold outside, he’d be more than willing to get it for me. I think that’s what I really need from my husband.

The contentment

Recently, my colleague got a flower delivery from her husband who was living in another city. If I hadn’t gotten those roses from Mr. FAF, I’d probably be a bit jealous of my co-worker. However, I just felt happy for her because I knew it was no longer what I wanted from Mr. FAF.

I later told Mr. FAF about my colleague and asked him what he thought. He said: “I think it’s expensive. It must be at least $30.”

I burst out laughing since it was exactly what I was thinking too. $30 to spice up our married life is great, but maybe we will save that money for something we really need instead.

Whenever I feel like Mr. FAF is not romantic enough, I’ll look at the picture above and remind myself that the grass is not always greener on the other side. The grass I’m on right now is beautiful and full of life already.