Why I Was Mad About My Husband’s $300 Gift

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I got home yesterday and got a package. It was a surprise gift from Mr. FAF: A $300 Ted Baker dress he had bought at Bloomingdale’s.

It came in a beautiful box. My heart started to melt.

Mr. FAF and I got into a heated argument last week about one of the most important decisions of our lives.

Whatever decision we make will affect our careers, our son’s future, our finances, our house, and even our parents.

The topic of Mr. FAF buying me an expensive dress had been my idea and suggestion for him for months. I thought that was what I wanted.

Mr. FAF told me that if he got a job offer, he’d get it for me. And he waited until we had a fight to buy it.

He later admitted to me that he got the dress to alleviate the tension and to convince me of his decision.

Mr. FAF told me about the dress a week before it arrived. He asked his female colleague to help him pick it out for me.

Needless to say, I was super happy and told my best friend from college about it. We texted back and forth about the dress. She told me she loved Ted Baker, and that it was a higher-end brand.

I had never bought any dress that cost more than $100, let alone $300. Both of us were excited to see what Mr. FAF got me given that he’s not the romantic type. I had high hopes about this expensive gift.

But once I opened the box, I was disappointed in the design.

The color was a bit darker than I expected. I’m not a big fan of floral design, and I do not like wearing purple. I also don’t like dresses with sleeves. The dress made me look 10 years older than I actually am. It was such an anti-climatic moment.

I called Mr. FAF to thank him for the thought and to tell him I’d return it. He was also disappointed to see the dress. He didn’t even remember what the dress looked like until I sent him the picture.

The $25 packaging

Then Mr. FAF told me he had spent $25 on the packaging and delivery. I got upset. $25 for that box and delivery? This is such a high cost for a surprise gift that fell short of my expectations.

From being upset, I got mad when found out the closest Bloomingdale’s store is 12 miles from our house.

Even if we return the dress online, we can only get store credit since Mr. FAF’s colleague used her store credit card to buy it. I definitely don’t think we need to spend $300 on anything at that expensive store.

Another option is for Mr. FAF to bring it back to his city and ask his female colleague to return the dress to get the cash back on her card. She will then need to give Mr. FAF $300 back.

It sounds like such a hassle for me. Who knows a well-intended and surprise romantic gift could turn into such a headache for everyone involved. I died a little inside when I saw the $300  price tag given how the dress looks.

I’ve been trying to calm myself down and not let Mr. FAF know that I’m actually upset about this gift. I told him the next time he wants to surprise me with anything, it needs to be less than $10. If I don’t like the surprise, I wouldn’t feel too bad about him spending money on something unnecessary.

The morale of the story is I no longer want Mr. FAF to impress me with expensive gifts. He just needs to be himself: simple and sincere. That’s all I need.


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16 thoughts on “Why I Was Mad About My Husband’s $300 Gift”

  • I thought its a pretty nice design but again its subjective and you probably know your own taste best.

    Dont worry too much about it, im sure it all works out well either by returning or using it as a gift for your relativea or close friends.

  • I’m curious – what made you think this was what you wanted? It sounds like this dress was everything you don’t like in dresses, so I’m guessing you didn’t discuss specifics? Was the point that he was supposed to surprise you with something nice?

    • Hi Revanche, I thought I’d be super happy if Mr. FAF for once surprised me with or bought me an expensive gift since he rarely gives me any presents. I thought it’d be nice for a change. Mr. FAF lives in a different city, so he asked his female colleague to pick the dress for me without me knowing. He only told me he had bought it afterwards and said he didn’t even remember what it looked like. Great questions though!

      I just read your blog today, and thought it was great! 🙂

  • I try not to buy my wife clothes…buying clothing is tough enough…definitely a lot harder when buying for someone else. You usually want to try it on, etc, etc. Early in our relationship and marriage, I’d buy “expensive gifts” for my wife but now I don’t. Not because I love her less but when we spend a large amount of money, we prefer to talk to each other first. I prefer to buy something smaller but has more sentimental value or shows some more thought. Gifts are hard though…that’s for sure. I think I’m similar to Mr. FAF…simple and sincere. I think those are good traits =)

    • Hi Andrew, it’s great to hear that you and your wife are on the same page about expensive purchases. I know that’s one area that a lot of couples struggle with. I totally agree with you that buying clothes for someone else is really difficult. I rarely buy any clothes for Mr. FAF. If I do, I take him with me so I can see if he likes it. But he wants to buy new clothes once every couple of years, so it’s not a big problem for us.

      I like small things with sentimental value too. I’ve never been impressed with or liked someone just because they have splashy stuff. I think your wife definitely sees the good traits in you, so I’m sure she will appreciate any gifts you get for her. 🙂

  • This was so funny to read, I actually read it to my husband and laughed the whole time! We are very similar to you. This year I told my husband he “needed” to buy me a gift for Valentine’s Day (no getting off the hook again!). So he bought me a $10 potted orchid from Aldi. But then I couldn’t bear spending so much on a flower and asked him to return it. He insisted on keeping it, so I learned my lesson and I feel your pain. 🙂

    • Hi Deb, I was so happy to see you here! I’ve been following Saving The Crumbs for a long time and really love your blog.

      I’m glad you found the post entertaining ^.^ Mr. FAF also insisted on me keeping the dress. I told him it makes me look older than I actually am. Then he said I can keep it and wear it when I’m older @_@. I just can’t bear the thought of having something that cost $300 sitting in the closet. I’m thinking about returning it and maybe getting something cheaper at Bloomingdale’s. But it’s an expensive store, so we’ll see.

      It’s great Al bought you such a cute and lovely present. At least know you know he’d do anything to make you happy 😉

  • I also laughed out loud at this! My husband used to buy me flowers and I’d get so upset. “Such a waste of money! And they’ll die!” We compromised when I asked him to buy me plants (perennials!) so I can plant them and they’ll live. For Mother’s Day two years ago, he bought me a rose bush and I was so much happier than if he’d bought me roses! For what it’s worth, I think you should take the dress back versus letting it sit in your closet. Use the money to pick out something you like better and that you’ll actually wear! 🙂

    • Hi Laurie, I just read a great post on your blog. I can’t believe you visited mine immediately after. Thank you!

      I’m glad you found the post funny. It was such a bittersweet experience for me, but I’m happy I learned a great lesson from it. I think it’s a great idea to buy plants that can live much longer than flowers. If my husband wants to buy me a plant, I’ll probably tell him to get me something edible (i.e. mint, basil).

      I’ll definitely return the dress and get something cheaper (and maybe nicer). Thanks for the suggestion! 🙂

  • This is so funny because my wife gets upset at me too for buying expensive stuff especially clothes. Our first couple of years in our relationship. I would take her out to nice restaurants and buy her cool gifts but now we don’t get each other gifts anymore on days like birthdays and Christmas. Since we have a one year old now I try to create gifts for her on Mother’s Day like designing a card or drawing pictures(tho I’m not exactly a great drawer). It’s just to show her I took the time and effort to make it and not got out and buy something. And it shows because she really likes those gifts I made because she recognizes that effort

    • That’s so sweet! Mr. FAF and I don’t give each other gifts on our birthday either. He said it’s our family tradition – no bday gifts @_@. I’m actually fine with that. After Mr. FAF’s debacle with the $300 dress, it makes me feel good knowing he’s not going to drop hundreds of dollars on something I won’t like.

      Your idea bout the Mother’s Day card is wonderful! I will ask Mr. FAF to do the same for me. I think he’ll enjoy it hehe. 😀

  • I like the bottom of the dress design!! But, maybe it’s the photo, but it doesn’t sit right with me. You’re so petite and I thought it looks like a normal t shirt not a dress.

    It’s ok to have a few money mistakes – that’s how you know and learn about each other. I brought a $800 electric bike that I have never used lol. Poor Jared, and it’s too late for me to return or sell it. $300 for a wearable dress is better than $800 on something that I’ll never use ha. I’ve screwed up harder!

    • I know! The top of the dress just looks like a T-shirt. That’s what happens when husbands go shopping for their wives @_@. Mr. FAF returned the dress to the store, so I was SUPER happy that we got our money back. No more surprise expensive gifts!

  • I’m so glad you wrote this article. I made my boyfriend return a $300 diamond necklace he got me for Christmas. I told him that we couldn’t afford something so impractical. I would hardly wear it out of fear of losing it! The gesture itself was what swept me away, and once that wore off, it was time for him to get his money back.

    Don’t get me wrong, I one day hope he buys me expensive jewellery, just not until we have a more padded budget!

    • I’m with you on the expensive jewelry. It’s nice that your boyfriend bought you such a nice gift. And I’m sure he was touched that you wanted him to return it to the store 😉

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