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Ladies, if you’re single and want to find a frugal husband, then this post is for you.
Even if you’re married or in a relationship, you might be interested to know if your other half is truly frugal or not.
Gentlemen, if you want to find a frugal wife, this post is also for you. I will tell you what a frugal woman looks for in a frugal man.
When it comes to dating, I don’t have a ton of experience. Mr. FAF is actually the second guy I have ever dated in my entire life.
However, when it comes to spotting a good, marriage-material man, I do think I have some advice to share.
If you’re a frugal man but don’t have some of the qualities below, don’t fret.
The qualities that I list are for reference purposes only. They shouldn’t be taken as must-haves.
1. He doesn’t gel his hair.
If a guy is truly frugal, he doesn’t want to spend money on hair gel.
As long as his hair is washed (either with shampoo or body soap) and doesn’t grow to his shoulders, he’s good to go anywhere. To him, gel is a luxury, not a necessity.
Don’t be put off by a man whose hair is not nicely cut. He might just have cut his own hair at home with a $20 hair-clipper. With time and practice, his hair will look better.
What you should look for
A frugal man might not pay much attention to styling his hair, but he’s serious about amassing knowledge to adorn his brain. He doesn’t want to spend $20 on a fancy comb or $5 on hair gel because he’s saving up for the books, courses or degrees that will enrich his future career and intellectual development.
Underneath the imperfect haircut that can turn off pretty much any single girl out there, you will find a massive repository of information that can make you star-struck.
If you want to know the history of Mongolia, he will share it with you. If you want to know how Alexander the Great conquered new territories and created his empires, he will give you the answer you need.
Even if you’re not interested in any of those topics, he sure knows something that might be of interest to you.
2. You usually don’t see any brand names on his clothes.
Ralph Lauren, Versa, and Lacoste? What are those anyway? You will never see those words on his shirts.
What you might see instead is the name of his university, a bank you have never heard of, a pizza chain you frequent, or an anti-smoking slogan you see on TV.
It’s because he got those T-shirts for free and doesn’t mind what people think about him in such outfits. After all, those are clothes and are washed regularly. The only difference is that he didn’t have to spend a penny on them.
If you see some holes in his T-shirts, don’t get put off by them. It’s because he doesn’t care too much what people think about him judging only by his looks. He might also want to get the most out of this clothes no matter how old they are. As long as the holes are not revealing, he’s ok with them.
What you should look for
His clothes might be flawed and have holes in them. But underneath those old clothes, you might find a heart that’s impeccable. He wants to be by your side when you are in difficulty. He does everything he can to help you find the solution to your problem.
He cares not only about you but also our family. He clumsily tries to mend the holes in his 4 year-old jeans, but he’s willing to help you support your parents financially. He wants to help cover your sibling’s tuition because he thinks your sibling is now also his.
He reaches out to your cousins to advise them on their career choices. He shares his plans and dreams with your uncles and aunts. He wants to be part of your family and takes action to show them how he feels.
3. He doesn’t wear expensive shoes.
A frugal man might have his favorite shoe brands, but he’s willing to forget about them and choose something more economical. He doesn’t mind wearing a $5 pair of crox he found at a grocery store and keeps telling you how lucky he is to have found those.
Walking next to him, you will never see people looking at his shoes with admiration and envy since no one pays attention to what he’s wearing on his feet. They might even give him and you a weird look when they pass by.
What you should look for
A frugal man might not have the shoes you see at expensive stores. But in his cheap shoes, he wants to walk next to you and supports you every step of the way.
At times you will notice him walking behind you to watch out for you and to catch you if you fall. If he ever walks ahead of you, he will be sure to turn around and pull you ahead with him. He never leaves you behind in any circumstances because he won’t feel safe until you do.
4. He doesn’t drive a fancy car.
He drives a beat-up car, and you feel embarrassed about having him pick you up in it? That’s a normal feeling. We still care a lot about what other people think of us. Having a poor-looking boyfriend or husband by our side definitely doesn’t seem to elevate our social status.
A frugal man usually buys and drives a used car. He wants a car that might not look nice but has an engine that works wonderfully (certified by a mechanic). He might fancy driving a luxurious car, but he knows there are other priorities in his life that warrant his budget. He is not willing to go into debt to drive a shiny car that he can’t afford.
What you should look for
A frugal man might drive an unattractive car, but he’s willing to take you anywhere in it. It’s 11 PM at night, and you’re craving some fast food? No problem. He will drive his beat-up car to get you the food you want.
You have heavy furniture that might scratch the paint of his car? He doesn’t mind it one bit since the paint is already peeling anyway. Whether the trip is 1 or 10 hours, if you want him to take it, he will make it happen. If you fall asleep in the car while he’s on the wheel, then you know you can trust him with your life.
5. He lives at a cheap place.
You decide to visit his abode and find that he’s renting the living room of a shabby apartment for as little as $150 month. His walls are also nonexistent. His makeshift wardrobe acts as a divider between his “room” and the rest of the living space.
You start to wonder how you two can have any privacy at all in this kind of living arrangement. You might begin to feel bad for him and his future girlfriend/wife since you don’t want to have anything to do with it.
What you should look for
Don’t be put off by his poor living condition . You may find out later that he’s trying to save up to pay off debt as fast as he can and to help someone else who’s in need. Assuming that he’s cheap and messy right away may turn you away from someone who’s willing to do anything to give you the best things he can afford.
A frugal man doesn’t mind living in a shabby place to save money. But he is happy to have you live in a nice house and enjoy more amenities than he does. His happiness is derived from yours. He feels good knowing that your needs and wants are taken care of.
You might have realized by now that I got some of the ideas and examples from Mr. FAF. Sometimes I still think it’s a wonder that we have found each other and made such a good team. There are ups and downs, but overall, we have built our lives, careers, and future on the foundation of financial responsibility.
A frugal man doesn’t necessarily equate a good husband and vice versa. In trying to find the right partner for our lifelong journey, we might have many different criteria. For me, I have found that frugality is what reinforces the strength of my marriage to Mr. FAF. I can’t imagine having it any other way.
How Frugality Brought Us Together As A Couple
How We Handle Our Finances As A Couple
Interview with Mr. FAF – Husband Of A Personal Finance Blogger
The Free Article That Helps Our Marriage
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47 thoughts on “How To Find A Frugal Husband”
haha, this is awesome! Good thing my husband passes the test (phew!) 😉 It is amazing how telling things like expensive taste or name brand items can be. There may be folks out there who can afford that while still retiring early due to a large amount of wealth, but for your average Joe, it can be a good sign of a big spender!
I know! I’m glad Mr. Adventure Rich has the qualities of a good frugal husband! And yes, I’m happy with my average Joe hehe.
Hahaha this is pretty awesome, totally inspiring me to write a how to find frugal wife post. 😀
Hmm I gel my hair so I guess that removed me from the list.
OMG I’d LOVE to see a post about how to find a frugal wife. It’d be great to hear it from a guy’s perspective!
Since you’re a PF blogger, I declare you qualify as a frugal husband regardless of whether you gel your hair or not 😀
This is awesome! I literally LOL’d at no hair gel. Some good points here. Definitely important to make sure you and your spouse are in finance alignment. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Lance, I’m glad my post brought a laughter to your day! 😀
I didn’t pass #1.. I used hair gel when I was young. It’s a mess if I didn’t. Now that I buzz my hair, I don’t need hair gel anymore. It’s great that you guys have similar financial value. That’s a great foundation to build on.
LOL! 🙂 Me too, Joe! That’s because we’re Asian and our hair sticks straight up unless we help it with gel or leave it long.
OMG I have the same problem! When I wake up in the morning, I look like I just came out of a tornado! I use a bunch of bobby pins to hold my hair in place (I wear a pony tail). One time I put some Aquaphor on my hands to moisturize the dry skin. I accidentally used my hands to put my hair in shape, and it instantly put my hair back in place!
#1 is not as important as #2-5. I’ve been following your blog for a while, and I DO think you qualify as a good frugal husband! 😉
Pretty sure the average bro passes this test. The average woman on the other hand…
Haha great point! I’d be curious to see what a frugal guy looks for in a woman :p
This is great! I am so lucky that my SO is more frugal than I am- he reins me in! One great side effect of having a frugal man is that he never treats me like an object or expects me to be a status symbol for him in front of others. His sense of worth comes from the inside, not the outside.
Nicely put! I’m so happy you have found your frugal half! 😉
“A frugal man doesn’t mind living in a shabby place to save money. But he is happy to have you live in a nice house and enjoy more amenities than he does. His happiness is derived from yours. He feels good knowing that your needs and wants are taken care of.”
Are you sure? I’m mostly this way, but I’ll be the truly hard core frugal men might struggle with this one!
I’m trying to figure out how to get my wife to become more frugal. If I ever solve this, then I’m going to write a book about it.
correction: I’ll bet the truly hard core frugal men might struggle with this one!
haha your book idea sounds terrific! Mr. FAF knows that I’m frugal (generally more than him), so he doesn’t have to worry about me overspending. I won’t spend money on something unless I think it’s necessary or if I really like it.
I was thinking more about how we bought a house where I currently live, but he’s renting a $250 (shabby) room in his city. Mr. FAF never once complains about it or is jealous that I live in a better condition than him. ^.^
I completely failed this test! 🙁
I’m so ashamed.
Great post. Really enjoyed it.
haha glad you liked it! 😉
I only wear plain t-shirts, used to drive a beat up car, I guess I sort of fit the into frugal description. I wonder which of my frugal attributes that my wife overlooked when she dated me.
So are you going to follow up this post with finding a frugal wife? ?
haha it’d be great if you could find out from her 😉
I was totally thinking about it! I might have to consult Mr. FAF on this =))
I easily pass them all but I’m a…ahem…older gentleman.
I would add one more:
6. Is he an engineer, science, math, or computer major. For whatever reason, men who have these majors are likely to be more frugal. Of course, they may not be the life of the party, but they may make a good spouse.
BTW, I have a Masters in Computer Science. Just sayin!
I just commented on another blog that the FIREd PF guys are commonly software developers/engineers!
I think it’s partly bc they make good money but are not flashy, so they’re able to save and invest a lot. I know lawyers and businessmen are under great pressure to look good for their careers’ sake. (Imagine a guy wearing a Bank of America T-shirt as a lawyer to defend someone in court -_-).
haha great point! I agree with you that guys (and even girls) who is a hard science major tends to be pretty frugal. Something complicated about the numbers just makes them so simple! Mr. FAF is indeed a Computer Science major too!
It’s AMAZING you got a Masters in Computer Science. It is what’s HOT right now! 😉
Wow, you pretty much nailed this one Mrs. FAF! Frugal guys like myself aren’t flashy. We won’t stand out in a crowd.
The gel one was funny — I gave up using gel years ago. A little conditioner ‘holds’ almost as good and isn’t sticky like gel.
You did miss one important item on your list, “Has long sexy tentacles and isn’t afraid to cook at home with them.” Haha 🙂
haha I literally lol’ed reading your comment. I can’t believe I forgot to mention the cooking! Your cooking skills are indeed at the expert level! @_@ ^^
Lol at all the guys measuring up to The list above me haha.
When a guy chooses to live in a cheap place even though they can move up, that’s what I consider a good frugal guy that’s definitely a catch. He’s probably thinking about the house he wants to own someday or the better retirement he wants to enjoy.
Great stuff MsFAF!!!!
Thank you, Lily! <3
Mr. FAF actually didn't have much choice at that time, so he decided to stay in the living room with 4 other guys in an apartment @_@ I have to say we didn't have much privacy at all when he started dating haha.
lol thanks for sharing. Dunno why but chuckled in a few places. I’m really odd because i oscillate quite a bit. I can be the biggest penny pincher, but I can spend a lot of money too. I’m trying to find the right balance. I’ve also been listening to a lot of podcasts and it’s been improving my outlook on life. One of the biggest things is the whole scarcity mindset. I think people can make a lot more money than they think they can. So my thoughts recently have been why not have your cake and eat it too. Make a lot of money, save a lot of money, and spend a lot of money, and give away a lot of money. Who said we need to pick just one right? ?
Totally agree with you! I know the scarcity idea sounds a bit scary since it seems that we can’t have it all. But I believe we can within the acceptable limits. For example, we can’t have millions of dollars and spend in the billions. But we can have millions of dollars and live comfortably in the thousands. I don’t think saving alone is great and healthy either. We need to bring in as much dough as we can! 😀
Hahaha, you should have added a frugal man’s hobbies: hiking, running, window shopping at the expensive stores, eating the free samples at Costco, volunteering to maybe getting the shirt that has a logo you never heard from, and looks for the freebies at local events. ?
Great list, made me laugh because I could relate to it.
Haha we LOVE window shopping at the malls and eating free samples at Costco.Our weekly date is a trip to the grocery store lol. Great points! I will keep that in mind for next time hehe.
This post was so sweet- I can tell that even though you grumble about Mr. FAF, he’s a great frugal partner who cares a lot about you and his family. Mr. NA passes most of this test, but he’s very particular about his shoes. To be fair, he does walk 4 miles a day, so I’m ok with spending a bit more on shoes.
Our weekly weekend date is a trip to the grocery store- Mr. NA actually gets sad when I go grocery shopping without him, haha.
And also the comment about knowledge made me smile, Mr. NA is super, super geeky and on our 5th or 6th date, when I asked why stars shine I got a 30 minute physics lecture on the science behind all of it. …Now I think twice before asking a very “science-y” question.
Do I really grumble about Mr. FAF a lot? Maybe I do that too often in real life, so it translates into my posts (oops!) lol. 😀 Mr. FAF also doesn’t like going grocery shopping alone. Sometimes I ask him to go by himself. He won’t say no, but he won’t sound too happy either and will keep asking if I still want to go. lol
Mr. NA sounds so knowledgeable! I have no idea about the science behind shiny stars. Maybe I’ll Google it later hehe.
You’re good- I don’t think you complain about Mr. FAF excessively at all! I definitely complain about Mr. NA a fair amount- I think it comes with being with someone for so long, haha. I love that your blogging feels so personal- you also talk about how great he is as a partner quite a bit, so it definitely balances out. 🙂
Thank you, Ying! I’m glad you enjoy my blog. I want to be myself and tell stories that I normally don’t tell a lot of people. It feels so liberating! 😀
If I had put my wife to this test should would have failed miserably. She drove a nice car, designer clothes but she did live at her parents house so it was cheap 🙂 However, since we got married she has become the most frugal person that I know. Sometimes you just have to unlock the potential 🙂
Haha this test only applies to guys :p But I’m glad things have worked out well for you and Ms. MSM. I agree that sometimes it takes time to really get to know a person and for them to develop the skills that a couple values. ^.^
First, awwwww. And second, awwwwww. This was remarkably romantic. While I don’t let on, I have the heart of a die-hard romantic. This is great advice, especially for the younger folks that may be wrapped up in a “selfie” generation where everything is about how something looks. Lastly, awwwww. Great post!
Thank you for such a sweet comment! ^.^
This is great! I’m compiling a list of things I want my kids to read before they get married. I’m putting this on the list. Thanks for writing this up.
I think Mrs. HIP would agree that I make the list except I do put a little gel in my hair or else I would have some major cowlicks, but it’s the inexpensive stuff and it lasts a long time because I don’t use that much 🙂
Tom @ HIP
Aww thank you, Tom! I will give this post to my daughter to read as well. I would also tell her not to buy/request an expensive engagement ring from her future husband. 😀
I believe the other 4 qualities are more important than the gel one 😉
Haha, my husband actually just meets 1-2 of these criteria, he drove a Mercedes but it is 10+ years old and he had a small apartment that looked like it could have had some better upkeep or even vacuuming. He did wear name brand stuff (Hugo Boss clothes, Prada shoes) but a family friend gifted those things to him throughout the years and I learned that he would never buy things like that for himself.
I really enjoyed your cute post. But! I have to take exception to no brand names or fancy clothes. Thrifting or going to estate sales can get you awesome clothes for next to nothing. I got four winter coats for four dollars a year or so ago. Still psyched about that score. 🙂
“1. He doesn’t gel his hair. ”
HAHAHAH, so funny! But it could be true! I hate gel…. i really find it kinda gross and annoying, especially when some guys leave CLUNKS of it you can see in their hair? WTF! That is nasty.
For years, I just cut my own hair on the sides myself, and went to a barber for $10 once every two months. Hmmm… I guess I’m still doing that b/c my barber is too busy, and I’ve gotten better at using my clippers!
LOL I know! Some guys I knew in college gelled their hair and didn’t wash it for days. @_@ I once tried gel to tame my messy hair. Then I had some hair loss and said good-bye to the gel -_-