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Today we have a guest post from Stacy B. Miller.
Stacy is a content editor at Oak View Law Group. Her articles are a beautiful union of her love for money and playing with words.
After working as a content writer for 5 years, she launched her own blog kissyourmoney.com where she posts articles on money, credit, debt, personal finance, and other financial topics.
Her blog gives real-world advice, tips and tricks to manage money like a pro. In the next 5 years, her plan is to explore the world and take her blog to the next level.
On my blog, Frugal Asian Finance, I often discuss the importance of personal finance in my marriage with Mr. FAF. Stacy has offered to share her thoughts on love, marriage, and money in her post below.
Last year my cousin, Kelly, divorced her husband, Brad, in Texas. Brad and Kelly were happy after marriage.
But things turned sour due to Brad’s irresponsible financial behavior.
Brad spent a lot of money, and he ignored his credit card bills every month.
His debt increased gradually, and creditors started calling every day. Kelly asked Brad to clear his debt, but he never listened to her.
Both of them lived in the community property state, so Kelly was held equally responsible for Brad’s debt. Her credit score dropped, and she was under deep financial pressure. Kelly wanted to enroll in a debt management program to pay off her debts, but Brad was against the idea.
Spats started over money and other financial issues regularly. Kelly tried her best to save her marriage. But eventually, she lost her patience and filed for divorce.
Marrying for money
Money matters in marriage. In the 18th and 19th century, most women married for money. They looked after the household affairs and expected their husbands to provide money for covering household expenses.
Parents asked their daughters to ‘marry well’ so as to avoid financial problems. Women were not financially independent back then. Most of them had to marry purely for financial stability.
Time has changed.
Women are now educated and financially independent. They are in stiff competition with men in school, college, office, and pretty much everywhere. But many still look at the man’s pocket when it comes to marriage because money and debt have a direct effect on a relationship.
You don’t marry just a man. You also marry his money and debts.
Why is it a good idea to marry for money?
One of the reasons behind the increasing divorce rates is debts. Financial problems lead to ugly fights, heated arguments, and stress.
The financial crisis, job loss and a huge amount of debt create a perfect storm in a marriage. Bitterness creeps into the relationship gradually and ultimately leads to divorce.
Money can buy happiness, which is an essential ingredient for a long lasting marriage. The enthusiasm of love and romance fades after awhile. But the penchant for the good things in life remains.
When you get married, your expenses increase gradually. You and your partner can live in a tiny apartment after getting married. But when kids arrive in the family, you have to move into a bigger apartment. Logically, it will be impossible to buy an apartment if one of the partners refuses to save.
Apart from a big apartment, there are other expenses you need to think about like prenatal care, birthday presents, doctor appointments, summer camps, vacations, college, etc. Higher education has become too expensive nowadays. A good bank balance is required to provide higher education to kids.
I don’t think that a woman’s point of view has changed substantially. Yes. Women are now educated and work outside of their home. But they still earn less than men. Men make 3 times more money over their lifetime than women.
Moreover, a large section of women leaves jobs after having babies. Sometimes, they leave jobs when their husbands relocate for better job prospects. Women have to do a lot of adjustments. They are seen as the flexible ones.
However, women are the ones who suffer most post divorce. They’re less valuable in the job market since there is a long gap in their career. Besides, they’re also less marketable on the marriage market.
Why should women take so many risks? Why should women suffer? From a financial point of view, women should marry men who are affluent, financially responsible, and have a good credit score.
Don’t laugh. Girls prefer to date men with a good credit score because they are smarter from their earlier generation. They know very well that a good credit score is important for buying an apartment or obtaining a loan. Plus, if a man has good credit score, it means that he is financially responsible.
Marriage is not just the union of mind and soul. It is also about the union of finances. A good relationship has proper financial planning. It is important for both partners to be on the same financial page.
Let me explain to you why. Frequent financial disagreements can break a relationship if both partners don’t compromise and adjust. Brad, my cousin’s husband, refused to change his attitude towards money. If he was filthy rich, then Kelly, my cousin, might have thought twice before filing for divorce.
Love and romance sound good in fairy-tales. Love is the highest ideal in the popular romantic stories. It is cherished and celebrated in the imaginary world. But in reality, there are many other important factors you need to consider when it comes to marriage such as finances.
Life is short, and you live only once. Why should you suffer by marrying a guy who refuses to be financially responsible and does not care about your well-being? And believe me, all your romantic feelings will die when you can’t agree with each other about money and struggle to put food on the table every single day.