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Are you ready for the new year to start?
There is something so soothing these last few days of the year that I just want December to last a bit longer.
I want to feel the festivity of the holidays, hear people’s vacation plans, and enjoy a couple of days off.
Before welcoming 2018, I want to wrap up some of my quick thoughts about 2017.
I hope that when I look back on these notes at the end of 2018, I will see many positive changes from the previous year.
1. Maintaining a happy marriage needs serious efforts.
I grew up seeing my parents fighting on a regular basis.
I just didn’t understand why two people had to make each other suffer for so long.
But life is not so simple. My parents still stay together after all those years.
For a long time, I didn’t want to get married. I didn’t want to get myself in the same situation that they were: being stuck and not being able to get out.
As the story goes, Mr. FAF and I got married four years ago.
Having learned from what happened in my family, I told myself that I would try to be a good wife so that Mr. FAF and I would never fight.
We also agreed that we would never argue in front of our children.
However, over the past few years, we have gotten into multiple arguments. We tried to make things work and implemented changes. After a while, we were once again faced with another problem.
The last and biggest fight happened right before and on our 4th anniversary. Things have improved a lot since then.
My colleague told me that we should find ways to address the issue before it explodes. I think that’s sound advice. The challenge is how Mr. FAF and I can implement such advice effectively.
After all, we’ve been married for only four years. We haven’t lived long enough to know what’s awaiting us in the future.
2. Raising kids is fun but exhausting.
I can’t picture our lives without our beautiful boy. Yet, one thing I realized in 2017 is that raising a kid well is no joke. I don’t know how other parents can raise 2-3 toddlers while working full-time.
Taking care of our 3-year-old son has made my wish to have only one kid stronger than ever. Mr. FAF, however, insists on having three kids (two boys and one girl).
Sometimes I really envy men since they don’t have to get pregnant and experience all the changes to their physical and mental health. I have seen my body change drastically after having Baby FAF. Not all of the changes are so wonderful, but I guess aging also has to do with it.
We sort of toyed with the idea of trying for a second baby in 2017, but nothing has come of it yet.
3. Money is important.
Whether money can buy happiness or not, it is important, period. I know many people don’t care about money, but I’m not one of them.
I think about money daily. I hesitate before making a purchase even if it’s a snack I want to try. But I don’t want money to dominate every single one of our decisions either.
Our finances improved a great deal in 2017 and have alleviated a lot of our financial concerns. We put a huge chunk of cash towards our mortgage principle and started maxing out our 401(k) and 403(b). Those were two of the most crucial financial decisions we made in 2017.
However, there were some days when I felt so empty and lost inside despite all the money that we make and have. That said, if I were to choose, I’d pick having lots of money over being broke in a heart beat. I grew up poor and know exactly what it’s like to be penniless.
4. Blogging as a business is not easy.
I finally decided to start a personal finance blog in 2017. I think it’s one of the best decisions I have ever made. However, now I know how much work goes into blogging professionally.
It’s different when you have a leisure blog and just want to write whatever you want and publish whenever you want.
When you have an audience to entertain in a specific niche, the need to keep up the quality and quantity of content while marketing your blog on multiple social media platforms can be overwhelming and discouraging at times.
Over the past nine months, I have seen some fellow bloggers leave the community or stop blogging together. Every time that happened, I felt really sad that one of us had quit, and told myself not to give up. And I’m glad I didn’t.
I didn’t monetize my blog in 2017, but making a livable income from blogging, I realized, is definitely not easy.
I’m happy to wrap up 2017 with a smile on my face despite all the challenges and mishaps we have encountered.
No one can know for sure what will happen in the future. But I believe that hard work always pays off whether it has to do with marriage, kids, money, careers or relationships.
Keep up the great work you’re doing. We will see you in 2018!
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20 thoughts on “Musings On 2017 – Marriage, Kids & Money”
Sounds like 2017 has been a big growth year for you guys in a lot of ways. That’s awesome! 🙂 Keep making progress and you guys will hit your financial goals before you know it.
I can imagine one kid is exhausting – it helps solidify our position to not have children – and can’t imagine how folks who have more than two deal with it. At least with two, if there are two parents, you can each cover a child. With three or more though you’ve got to have zone coverage and that sounds next to impossible! Good luck if Mr FAF gets his way 🙂 🙂
Haha thanks Dave, we will see how things pan out in 2017. Mr. FAF might be able to get his way if he can handle more housework in 2018 😀
Happy New Year!
Great reflections on the year! You had so many big changes happen in one year, but I guess that’s how life goes! Marriage definitely takes hard work, but I wasn’t aware of how hard it is until I jumped in and started living it! We’ll hit four years in less than two months. It’s wonderful and worth it, but not always easy 🙂
We hit our 4 years in November! Happy early anniversary to you both! 🙂
Overall, a very busy year for you! I can’t comment on #2 yet, as Mrs. BD and I aren’t there yet ourselves, but I can appreciate what I do see and know from other family and friends.
On the blogging, this really stuck out for me:
“I have seen some fellow bloggers leave the community or stop blogging together. Every time that happened, I felt really sad that one of us had quit, and told myself not to give up. And I’m glad I didn’t.”
I’m only 4-5 months in, and it can be overwhelming at times. Reading this and the other great posts in the community keep me going as well 🙂
Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts!
I think it’s a great idea to learn from others. We can always read about experts’ opinions online, but I’d much prefer to learn from the people around me 😀
Girls get the final say on baby making because we gotta do the actual work and get judged on it by society. If it was me I would think 2 girls, 1 boy or 1 girl, 1 boy.
I would want*
Is there an expected timeline for baby #2 right now or up in the air?
Yes, girls get judged by society in so many different ways. I’d prefer 1 boy and 1 girl. Baby #2 will come when she/he is ready hehe 😉
Happy new yr. Me and the wife have been together 12 years and 5 years of them married. Fights happen. Generally they are always about the same things. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, my wifes 9 months and looks great. I wish i could feel the baby inside me kicking but glad i dont need to push her out! Congrats on monetizing your blog. I find writing fun and relaxing and enjoy doing it why not make a buck for your time.
Have a great 2018 and enjoy “practicing” for baby #2
Yes! I can attest to the fact that fights are almost always about the same topics. It’s great you love writing and aren’t stressed out about monetizing. That’s a beautiful thing about blogging!
We will sure enjoy the practice ^.^ :p
Congrats on a big year in 2017! Blogging is a challenge for sure if you are looking at it just as a way to make money. I enjoy the challenges it has brought, I also think it is a great motivator to stay on track with my saving and investing goals. Enjoy the rest of 2018 relaxing and happy new year!
Thank you and happy new year to you too! 🙂
Thanks for sharing such an open and honest reflection. We are about to welcome our first baby in March and are really excited but preparing for a crazy amount of work.
I’m glad you didn’t give up on the blog because it’s fantastic and provides a ton of value. It’s on my list of top blogs to read. I look forward to reading more in 2018!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Jamie! It means a lot to a newbie blogger like me. 🙂
I’ve read some of your posts and think they’re great as well. You put a lot of thought into your writing, and it shows.
Congrats on the big news coming up in March! 😉
Thank you for the kind words! And we are crazy excited for baby Griffin! I’m sure I’ll share a lot about the little guy or girl when it comes!
Raising a kid really is no joke. Both of us stayed home to raise our son and it is a constant 15 hour day with no breaks! I finally signed up for a massage at home in demand app and got my wife and hour and a half today. It was awesome. Decision to have another kid should be more heavily weighted towards the mother’s decision because of the requirement to carry a child and go through all the potential complications.
Have you suggested to your husband to stay home to raise the children with you or by himself? Maybe his attitude of having three kids will change if so!
Wow a massage sounds like a great idea! We have in fact considered buying a massage chair, but it’s a bit expensive, so we will wait for a while. I have suggested he stay at home, but he said no (as I expected). His solution is asking grandparents for help -_-
I’m so exhausted already and Sams right it’s 13 hour days with no breaks for me. Your body goes thru so much change- hair loss post partum, mommy pooch that’s hard to get rid of, mood swings from breast feeding.. The list goes on! My husband took the baby out for a stroll and I was able to have some alone time to cook and it felt great! Just a few breaks here and there can really help me to keep my sanity. I think with baby FAF being older it won’t be as busy with another little one (it will be busy but probably better than a 2 year age difference 🙂 )
Great to see you have achieved a lot in 2017. Wish you a successful 2018!