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Mr. FAF and I are very happy to announce the birth of our daughter – Baby F2.
She was born one week early. Both mommy and baby are doing well.
Now that the frenzy of having a new baby is finally slowing down, I want to take this time to tell you the story of how it all happened.
The fateful Thursday
It was Thursday, 10 days before my due date. I went to work as usual.
Earlier, I had talked to my boss about the possibility of him letting me work from home during the last two weeks of my pregnancy.
My colleagues had been suggesting that option to me since it was pretty common in my office.
My boss, however, was new and didn’t seem comfortable with the idea, which I totally understood.
I had come down with a cold that whole week but didn’t take time off since I wanted to save my sick leave and vacation for after the birth.
On that Thursday, I felt a lot of pressure in my pelvic area.
I had some free food in the office for lunch and wasn’t sure if it was the food that just didn’t sit well in my stomach.
I’m not sure what happened, but my boss stopped me on my way home that afternoon and said that he’d be ok with me working from home during my last week, which I agreed to.
Walking became more difficult. I remember thinking to myself that I wouldn’t be surprised if our baby decided to come out that weekend. But I didn’t tell Mr. FAF since I didn’t want to freak him out.
He had been praying that our daughter would come after his one-year anniversary (4 days before the due date) so that he could get his 6-week paternal leave.
Doubting the pain
I went to bed at 10:30 PM that night, totally preparing myself to go to work the next day. I started to feel some pain in my lower abdomen but managed to sleep through it until 3 AM.
At 3 PM, the pain intensified, and I had to rush to the bathroom, thinking it must have been something that I had eaten. The pain started slow but came every 15 and then 10 minutes. I thought I had food poisoning.
When I went into labor with Baby F1, it started with my water breaking. And I didn’t even have any contractions until I got the Pitocin at the hospital. And once the contractions started, I got the epidural right away, so I could barely register what contractions felt like.
Part of me suspected I was in labor with Baby F2. But part of me also hoped it was just a bad case of diarrhea. After all, it was just 5 days away from Mr. FAF’s one-year work anniversary.
That weekend, there was also a huge annual Asian summer picnic that I wanted to go to. Plus, it was early in the morning (4 AM), so I didn’t want to wake Mr. FAF up since he might still have to go to work the next day.
When it was 4:20 AM, however, the pain started to come every 5 minutes. I started to sweat and squirm in bed with every pang of pain I was hit.
When it began to feel unbearable, I decided to call the clinic and was put in touch with the doctor on call who told me to go to the hospital right away.
I rushed to Mr. FAF’s room (we don’t sleep together) to wake him up: “Hubby, wake up. We need to go to the hospital. I’m in labor.” We gathered my hospital bag, dressed our son, and got in the car.
At the hospital
On our way to the hospital, I was constantly hit with contractions that felt like someone was wrangling all the organs inside me. Mr. FAF asked me if it felt like diarrhea, and I said it was 10 times worse than that.
I was examined by the nurse who said I was 7 cm open.
In my last desperate attempt to hope for a later delivery, I asked the nurse if I was in labor. She looked at me and said,”Yes, you are.”
I was admitted to the triage at 6 AM. Mr. FAF and I looked at each other and said good-bye to his 6-week paternal leave. I secretly wished I could still go to the Asian summer picnic, which was a blast last year.
In between contractions, I texted my boss to tell him that I was in labor, and that I wouldn’t be able to go to work that day. I thought about the tasks that I had tried to finish at work.
But I finally let all of those thoughts go. My baby was the most important thing now, and I had to concentrate my energy on delivering her.
I thought that I would have to push until the afternoon and even told Mr. FAF to work from the hospital to save one day off.
We took our son to the hospital, but Mr. FAF later took him to daycare and then came back to the hospital.
The birth
5 minutes later, however, the nurse told me I was ready to push, and that I could deliver our baby girl that morning. Both Mr. FAF and I were in shock.
I was in labor with Baby F1 for 16 hours and had to push for at least 4 hours. He was 8 lbs 4 oz and had a hard time coming out of my belly. The doctor had to use a vacuum and forceps to get him out. The doctor later told me she was preparing the tools to perform a C-section on me.
I got the epidural at 7:30 AM and breathed a sigh of relief when I stopped feeling pain from the contractions.
I applaud and respect all the moms who choose to go natural with their delivery 100%, but like Mr. Frugalwoods, I had nothing to show for my labor. I’m human. I don’t want to be in pain.
If there’s a less painful option for me to welcome my baby which is covered by health insurance, I’d happily take it, which I totally did.
Our daughter was born at around 10 AM, which totally amazed Mr. FAF and me. We were now a family of four.
Unlike Baby F1’s birth where I passed out immediately after the delivery (literally), this time, I was able to see Baby F2 after she came out of my belly.
The doctor placed her on my chest. I looked at our baby with happiness, gratitude, and surprise. I was now a mother of two. I felt like our family was more complete than ever.
The hospital stay
The nurse later wheeled me to the family care room where I stayed for the next two days. During my stay, the nurses came to check either Baby F2 and me or both every hour.
It was hard for me to sleep with the constant visits from the staff. But I knew it was necessary. They were attentive and helped me with everything from getting up to going to the bathroom.
I got a private room with a TV and a private bath. I had fun ordering things off the menu during my stay. I felt like I was staying in a hotel.
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner
The private bath in my room at the hospital
Mr. FAF stayed at home with our son and came to visit us later in the afternoon (it was during the weekend). Mr. FAF also cleaned up the house, did laundry, and bought a bunch of groceries to prepare for mommy and baby’s arrival at home.
With no help from family, we were in charge of a toddler and a newborn and had to divide the labor accordingly. I watched our daughter at the hospital, and Mr. FAF took care of our son at home.
One downside
I was generally happy with the hospital except for one thing. One of the main nurses who took care of us was in training and seemed really inexperienced.
She didn’t know the very basic things such as how to use an ice pad, how to swaddle a baby properly, and what labolin was (cream for sore breasts).
When she gave our baby her first bath, I was very nervous that she’d drop our baby. Luckily, the main nurse took over the second half of the bath, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Other than that, everything went well at the hospital. A couple of days later, Mr. FAF’s boss emailed him with great news for us.
He had talked to the big boss and HR who let Mr. FAF take four paid weeks off to take care of our baby. It was much better than the three weeks we had hoped for and happily took the offer.
Conclusion
Mr. FAF and I are still adjusting to being new parents of a newborn and a toddler without any help from our parents.
Our friends and neighbors offered to watch Baby F2 so that we could take a break. My neighbors also wanted to start a meal chain for us.
We appreciated their kind gestures. But knowing that everyone has young kids and full-time jobs, we don’t want to bother them and haven’t taken anyone up for their offers just yet.
I will write another post about how Mr. FAF and I manage to take care of a newborn and a toddler without spending a fortune on babysitting, take-outs, or cleaning service.
Stay tuned for further updates!
Related:
How We Are Preparing To Welcome Our 2nd Baby
What Has Surprised Me About My 2nd Pregnancy
How Our Lives Have Changed After My Mother-in-law Left
Time To Freak Out: My Mom Can’t Help Us With Our 2nd Baby
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Hello, Mrs FAF! I am reading you for a while and I am so glad you gave birth to a healthy baby! Wish you all the best!
I have only on curiosity. It might sound stupid, but I live in Europe and I was wondering… Everytime I read about giving birth and maternal leave on a blog that belongs to someone from America, I see terms like “save my sick leave and vacation for after the birth”.
Can you tell me how long are you allowed to stay home after you give birth? Because in my country, although is a poor country, after giving birth the mother (or the father, they can choose) can stay home for 2 years, while being paid 85% or your salary+ the child’s allowance, so it’s quite confusing for me when I read things like staying home for x weeks.
Thanks!
Thank you, Adelina! It depends on the employer. I get 20 work days off after 1 year of working at my organization. Mr. FAF gets 6 weeks off for paternal leave. I know many federal works get 2 weeks off while others get no time off at all. That’s why we need to save up our sick leave and vacation to stay home with our kids 🙂
Sounds like you are from Romania. Very different in the US. I returned to work 8 weeks after giving birth. It wasn’t a good experience but at the time I did not have any other option. Things are slowly improving in the US but it is nowhere near the civilized maternal/paternal policies of Europe and elsewhere.
Congratulations!I’m glad that is behind you , and all went well. I feel sure you and your husband are ideal employees and as a result you got the perks mentioned. Problems will come up, of course, but you now have the family you wanted.
Thank you, Carole! I’m super happy our employers were flexible as well! 🙂
Congrats!!!! I am glad you’re both home happy and healthy and safe.
And wonderful that Mr FAF got 4 weeks of paid leave! I hope the new
stage of being parents to two goes smoothly.
Thank you, JJ!
Weeeee congrats!! Does baby girl look like you or Mr. Fat?!
I couldn’t stop reading! Oh my God its so exciting to become a mom x2. Your little girl couldn’t wait to come haha. Does Mr FAF get to argue for his case? What’s the alternative to 6 weeks?
That hospital is fancyyy. The food looks pretty good for hospital food!
Thank you, Lily! Baby girl looks like his dad. I’m hoping she will grow up and start looking like me lol. Baby F1 already looks like his dad, so I need someone to look like me please! :p
Mr. FAF was too shy to argue about anything. He was totally at the mercy of his boss and HR. We are just happy he got 4 weeks off. We’re too scared to argue with the boss and make them hate us >_<
Oh I’m slow I missed the last part – aw yeah great boss!!! 4 weeks isn’t bad!
Congratulations on becoming a family of four! That’s wonderful!
Take the neighbors up on their offer. They probably remember those days and think of how much someone had helped them. Just because you can manage without the help, doesn’t mean you should manage without the help. If they want to help, let them. You’ll build closer bonds with your neighbors and who knows? Maybe in a few years you’ll be the neighbor wanting to help out a new mom and dad 🙂
Thank you, Gwen! We will see how things go. I think we might need to ask the neighbors for help when Mr. FAF and I go back to work. It’s great to have friends and neighbors who live close by and are willing to help us! 😀
Congratulations on the birth of your daughter! So happy to hear that everyone is healthy and doing well.
Congratulations to you and your family!
OMG I would have been panic-stricken with that nurse-in-training. I wish there was a way to train medical staff that didn’t result in the patient feeling like a guinea pig!
Great news on the 4 weeks leave for Mr. FAF! Enjoy this time and all the best.
Sleepless nights round 2. 😅
Congratulations on a safe delivery and try to enjoy the parental leave. In the future the older one can keep the little one company without constant supervision, so it might free up some time in the future. 😊
Thank you, Will!
Congratulations!!!!
Thank you!
Congratulations Mrs. FAF. Wish you the very best with the baby. It’s good to know you delivered safely.
Congratulations!! It sounds like everything worked out really well! Yay to Mr. FAF for helping so much and to his boss and HR for the paid time off. Enjoy your beautiful children!
Thank you, Susan!
Congratulations! Take it easy for a few days. You don’t need to post twice a week after giving birth. You’ve suffered enough. 😉
Can’t Mr. FAF take a few sick days? Just pretend he’s sick. Come on, learn to play hooky. That’s the American way.
He has 15 days of paid time off in total (sick leave + vacation). He can only carry 10 days over to next year, so we want to save the 5 days off in case the kids are sick. Thanks for the advice though 😉
Congratulations on the second child. Reading through your experience helped to shape my expectations of what it will be like when my wife and I to have a child when our time comes.
One part that stood out to me was when you texted your boss to tell him you were in labor in between contractions. Having never experienced a live child birth, it struck me as a surreal moment you experienced. Especially when you commented that you thought about the tasks you needed to finish at work. Regardless, I’m happy your husband received that 4th week as opposed to only 3. It isn’t the full 6 you had hoped for but is a nice benefit nonetheless.
Congrats to you and your family! It’s definitely a hectic time and wonderful that your neighbors offered a helping hand. We were lucky that we had family around to help us. And yes, props to all the women during childbirth! I still can’t get over that our first was born at home when the doctors sent us home (twice) saying that my wife wasn’t ready! And the second time around, the doctor seemed to want to rush the labor. I’m like relax lady…no need to rush…don’t you remember last time?!
Yay! Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. She must be such an angel. I’m so happy for you!
Congratulations on your new addition! The teams are now tied up, 2 against 2. You should look into FMLA benefits for both of you.
We welcomed baby #2 last year in July. Fortunately my employer offer such benefits so I was able to spend some quality time with her.
Happy for you and the family. Enjoy Parenthood all over again.
Congrats!!!!
Enjoy this time with your family 🙂 Don’t even think about work. Sorry about the paternal leave though, so close….
Crazy how different each labour can be. I have no idea what to expect. My work BFF (due two weeks before me) had hers over a month early this week, starting with waters breaking. I’m glad you were able to get the epidural you wanted!
Congratulations. That’s a wonderful news.
Congratulations on a swift and much easier birth than previous! That makes things so much nicer to look back on! Yeah for the kind HR office to offer a generous paternal leave outside of the guidelines. No doubt they respect your husbands work and want to keep in his good graces also!
As for the neighbors offering support and meals.. Allow others to love on you! No doubt they have been there.. they remember those early days and they are likely offering WHAT they are willing and able to do. MOST people who offer things are genuine and legitimate. If I offer to bring a meal it is because I want to help.. and this is what I can do.. Sometimes my underlying reason is because I love/appreciate the person, sometimes its because I have been there.. and truthfully.. sometimes it is my way of just giving gratitude that I am not the person in need of the support at that time….
And for most people who have a few kids.. watching another or a few more for a short time is not an issue at all.. especially if they are close in age.. they tend to play with each other and not cause more work at all!
Congratulations! I hope things are going well. Hang in there!
Thank you, Sam!
Congrats on the birth of your daughter aka Baby F2. Hope everything is going well and enjoy this time with the newborn.