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It’s been almost two months since I announced the birth of our baby girl.
As I am typing this post, she’s sleeping in a vibrating bouncy chair right next to me.
The weather in DC is getting colder to prepare for the winter and the holiday season.
But it’s also a season of flu and colds.
And our baby just caught a cold yesterday night.
I’m not sure if it’s because the temperature in our house was too low (67 degrees) or if Mr. FAF passed his cold onto her.
But I am feeling really guilty for not being to protect my baby from a cold.
It’s not a good way to celebrate her two months.
What’s been going on with us
A lot has happened since my post about her birth.
As you already know, right after Mr. FAF returned to work from his paternal leave, his boss told him to transfer to another team since he wasn’t a good fit.
That caused Mr. FAF and me a lot of stress given that we have a newborn and a toddler to take care of; financially instability was the last thing we wanted.
But he’s found a new team and is feeling more like his normal self again.
Aside from that, I’d also want to give you guys a quick update on what’s been going on in our family.
Life with the father-in-law
As mentioned in an earlier post, Mr. FAF wants to prepare for an job interview in the next 3-4 months, so my father-in-law (FIL) agreed to come to DC to help us out with the baby.
I lived with both of my in-laws for a year and with only my mother-in-law (MIL) for another year. Things became challenging between my MIL and me due to our cultural and generational differences, not to mention the language barriers.
My FIL has lived with us for almost a month. And I can definitely see the difference. My FIL is pretty chill and doesn’t tell us what to do. He doesn’t make us stay at home with him or get upset when Mr. FAF and I go out on a date like my MIL did.
I also don’t really talk with my FIL much, so that removes a lot of the stress and misunderstanding that might arise in a MIL-DIL relationship.
Division of household tasks
Mr. FAF returned to work almost a month ago, but I’m still on maternity leave until early November. Below is our current division of labor:
— Do the dishes in the evenings
— Go grocery shopping with my FIL
— Cook on the weekends
— Cook on weekdays
— Take Baby F1 to daycare and pick him up
— Take care of Baby F2 at night and during the day
— Do laundry
— Clean the house
— Do the dishes and help Mr. FAF cook on the weekends
— Enjoy his carefree life as a toddler
— Be cute & throw tantrums every day
— Eat, sleep, cry & be cute
(Alright, you know I’m just kidding about Baby F1 & Baby F2’s tasks. Their main responsibility is just to grow up.)
When I go back to work in early November, the following tasks will change:
— Take care of Baby F2 at night
— Take Baby F1 to daycare and pick him up
— Take care of Baby F2 during the day
— Make dinner on weekdays if he has time
Mr. FAF & me
— Cook for the whole week on the weekends
Thoughts on being parents of two kids
Before Baby F2 was born, Mr. FAF tried to persuade me to have three kids. His idea was to have our parents take care of the kids for us.
However, after two months of helping care for a toddler and a newborn and realizing that my parents might not be able to come to the US at all, Mr. FAF has realized how much work it is to care for a kid.
He now agrees with me that we should have two kids only.
I love my baby dearly, but during those nights when she’s fussy and I stay up pretty much the whole night with her, there’s one thing I strongly believe in and keep telling myself: I’m done having babies.
I think it’s more important for us to give our kids quality time for them to grow and learn from us instead of chasing after a specific number of kids.
Being on maternity leave
Time went by so fast. I only have three weeks left before returning to work, which I have mixed feelings about.
On the one hand, I want to stay at home longer to take care of our baby since she’s still too young. Although my FIL will help take care of her during the day, I can’t help but feel that I am the best person to care for her.
On the other hand, I am excited to return to work. I’ve been feeling a bit out of touch with reality ever since I gave birth. I have my work inbox open every day to know what’s going on in the office.
I miss the conversations with my colleagues and the feeling of getting work done instead of just breastfeeding and changing diapers every day.
I wish I could have a copy of myself to get the best of both worlds. But life is not so perfect, so I have to pick and choose. I’ve had a great two months taking care of my little angel, now it’s time for me to move on and be a working mom.
I’ve never felt so happier about my marriage and our family than now.
Whenever Mr. FAF and I face new challenges in our lives, I always remind myself that things will get better, and that nothing good in life comes easily.
This family life of ours might seem normal to other people, but it is what Mr. FAF and I have been striving for over the past five years.
Our situation will change when I return to work in early November and when my FIL goes back to China in late January. But as long as Mr. FAF and I have each other and our kids, we know we will be fine.