A romantic dinner
Two candles light up a table with two wine glasses, a vase of red roses, a delicious-looking dinner (ideally beef steak) with love songs playing in the background.
Mr. FAF and I sit down at the table, gaze into each other’s eyes, and eat dinner while talking about all the beautiful memories we have created together as a couple.
We then hold hands and stand up to dance to the music.
Mr. FAF surprises me with a beautifully wrapped gift before I surprise him with mine.
That’s my idea of a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner celebration.
I would estimate the cost to be around $100.
The only things we need to spend money on are home-made steak, roses, wine, and two gifts.
We would do everything at home instead of an expensive restaurant.
And that’s a dinner that has never happened either thanks to Mr. FAF’s lack of romantic gestures or my unwillingness to prepare the whole thing by myself or both.
Instead, our pre-Valentine’s conversation would go something like this:
Me: Velatine’s Day is coming.
Mr. FAF: Ok.
Me: Only ok?
Mr. FAF: I can buy you groceries or cook you something at home.
Me: But I want romance.
Mr. FAF: It’s not our family tradition (?!).
I’m not sure who created this non-romance tradition in our family (most likely Mr. FAF), but I am not a big fan of it. Like most women, I like romantic gestures from Mr. FAF: a surprise gift, a romantic poem, a surprise dinner date, a lovely postcard or all of the things above.
I’ve gotten a $300 surprise present from Mr. FAF before, but it was a bit of a disappointment, so I asked him to return it.
Two weeks ago, we decided to try one new restaurant in the area to spice up our married life and count it as a weekly date. We went to a steak house nearby. We both agreed that it’s the best steak we’ve gotten. However, due to the price ($42) and Mr. FAF’s weight loss efforts, that date plan fizzled after one dinner.
I’ve suggested low-cost Valentine’s gift ideas such as a poem or postcard, but he said he can’t compose poems and is not good at writing cheesy postcards (?!).
Receiving a love poem from Mr. FAF would put me on cloud nine. In case you wonder if I have done all of the things above for Mr. FAF, then the answer is yes except for writing poetry.
I guess Mr. FAF’s love language is a bit different from mine. It’s usually making me my favorite dishes, getting me my favorite fast food late at night, or being extremely patient whenever my temper flares up.
I can’t remember all the exact occurrences, but I feel most loved when Mr. FAF makes me my favorite dishes. There’s something so calming about seeing him in a girly apron, sweating in the heat, being focused on getting the recipe right, and worried about under-cooking the food or accidentally making it spicy.
I try to think of those examples to feel better about Mr. FAF’s lack of romance on special occasions although I still secretly hope that he would take his love language up a notch.
Back to reality. I just asked Mr. FAF what we are going to do for Valentine’s, and his response was “Not in the mood.” Very romantic and exciting, I know.
We will just say “Happy Valentine’s” to each other and move on with our daily lives like the previous years. In a nutshell, our Valentine’s celebration this year will be super frugal because we won’t spend a dime on it (sorry about the clickbaity title).
Am I 100% ok with that? Not really. But I guess I have to compromise in marriage and understand that I can’t get what I want all the time.
I’ll just look on the bright side and say that though not the romantic type, Mr. FAF is still a good husband, father, son, and son-in-law. That’s my everyday Valentine’s gift.
What about you? Are you planning a romantic Valentine’s date?